We are graced with the presence of the great Grady Hendrix: writer, raconteur, programmer of the New York Asian Film Festival, and always, always the coolest guy in the room. There's this rumour going 'round that TIFF ends on the 19th of September, but make no mistake -- TIFF ends whenever Grady leaves Toronto. Here's what he thinks you should see:


MIDNIGHT MADNESS PICKS

ONG BAK 2 - on-set shenanigans reached critical mass during the shooting of teeny tiny action star, Tony Jaa's, big fat directorial debut. The production went massively over budget, the shooting schedule stretched on into infinity and Jaa vanished at one point, rumored to be visiting a guru in the forest, or praying in seclusion, or hiding with his parents. Midnight deals were made, negotiations were presided over by police chiefs, and kidnap rumors swirled until everyone hugged and made up and Jaa agreed to go back to work. The resulting film is a jungley fever dream, as primitive as the pounding of the tom toms, full of leering close-ups and populated by a gallery of grotesques, like something Guy Maddin would have nightmares about after an evening spent watching Thai action films and eating spicy sausages. Massive and inarguable, ONG BAK 2 is a dreadnaught of a movie that crushes everything in its path. Is it good? That's debatable. But is it entertaining? Aw, hell yeah.

A TOWN CALLED PANIC - Midnight Madness usually seems to play host to Asian action movies, gory horror flicks or satirical send-ups of fanboy genres like gory horror flicks or Asian action movies. So when a straight-up surrealist comedy like A TOWN CALLED PANIC comes along it needs people to buy tickets. Produced by the French, A TOWN CALLED PANIC almost completely erases classic French fuck ups like the Maginot Line from memory and it's tenser than PSYCHO, more romantic than CASABLANCA and has far less Bruce Willis than ARMAGGEDON. Rescuing stop motion animation from the twee hands of Henry Selick, ATCP is the kind of movie that lives on in your brain after you see it like a happy memory. Or a tumor.

SYMBOL - what's the matter with Japan? Why are Japanese people so weird? Unknown. But further investigation is required. Said investigation begins with SYMBOL, a further spelunking into the fifth dimension after movies like THE TASTE OF TEA or FUNKY FOREST: THE FIRST CONTACT. Hitoshi Matsumoto previously directed DAI NIPPONJIN, a movie that never got hailed the way it should have since it was, after all, a masterpiece. Deciding to go for a full-on attack on audiences, Matsumoto has taken off the gloves and now refuses to play nice, blasting our faces with the kind of surrealist crazy-pants filmmaking that leaves audiences thinking, ZOMG JAPAN!!! Plus, masked wrestlers.


FAVE FOUR NOT IN MIDNIGHT MADNESS

ACCIDENT - Soi Cheang is the best Hong Kong director you've never heard of. Starting out shooting digital video doodles before his deeply moving gothic gentrification romance, DIAMOND HILL, broke him into the mainstream he went on to do horror (HORROR HOTLINE: BIG HEAD MONSTER) and action (DOG BITE DOG) giving everything his own brutal stamp and rich visuals. Now comes ACCIDENT, produced and given an impeccable high production value sheen by, Johnnie To (VENGEANCE) and it's a movie that has been in post-production seemingly forever. Starring the under-rated and overly-tanned Louis Koo and the vampirically sexy Richie Jen, it's about hitmen who make their hits look like accidents, before they start having accidents themselves. With a soundtrack by the incomparable Xavier Jamaux (SPARROW) if it's not one of the best Hong Kong movies of the year, it's certainly going to be one of the best looking.

BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL NEW ORLEANS - Weirdo Herzog remakes Abel "No One in America Will Finance My Movies" Ferara's BAD LIEUTENANT? Done. Especially since crying, naked, penis-flashing Harvey Keitel has been replaced by Nic Cage and His Amazing Hair Plugs. Shot to look like a Lifetime Movie, this promises to be an eyeball scorcher. Any movie that contains the line, "Shoot him again, his soul is still dancing," deserves to be the break-out, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE-sized hit of this year's TIFF.

VALHALLA RISING - Nicholas Winding Refn made the PUSHER trilogy and for that alone he is a God. But now he's turned his attention to Vikings who, as we all know, are the new pirates, who were the new ninjas, who were the new aliens, who were the new robots, who were the new vikings (waaaay back in 1955). So it all comes full circle. Misty, muddy, bloody and bare-knuckled, VALHALLA RISING isn't just the greatest name for a death metal band ever. It's also one of the best-looking movies in this year's TIFF line-up.

BARE ESSENCE OF LIFE - the bloodless write-up on the TIFF website doesn't even start to indicate how strange and great this movie is. Kenichi Matsuyama, the teen heartthrob from DEATH NOTE and DETROIT METAL CITY, plays a retarded farmer who falls in love with a teacher who just moved to his hick town from Tokyo. A completely boring opening 45 minutes lulls you to sleep before the movie begins to throw brain removal, ghosts and more at your face. Despite how boring it seems, it's one of the weirder movies in this year's TIFF and it deserves something - tap-dancing dogs in front of the theater, a big awesome poster, good word of mouth - to lure audiences in.