MEGA SPOILERS (sorry suckas: ha, so you see now, you should have gone to the movie. Yessss, I segregate you outcasts!)

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No seriously, go away, if you didn't watch this. That's not cool man.

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Stop it.

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OK. I fine, I will try not to to give too much away, but still, you've been warned.

Well if you're gonna hang out you can't complain when you do see the movie, alright?

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Alright?

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Okay.

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So as you may know, it's a good three quarters into the film, when it let's you know it's watching you watching it.

Then CRACKOW the disses start coming. I stiffened in my chair.

It's like "Hey Darryl!" (or something to that effect)

And I'm like huh?

I'm not sure if it was talking to everyone else, or just me?

The movies all like "Yo busta, you straight trippin if you think you know what this movie's about."

And I'm like well I dunno. It's a matter of perspective.

And the movie's all snapping at me calling me a freak and a geek, and other stuff.

And then I'm like whaaaat...

I run through a list of responses, but can't really come up with anything because the movie's moving so fast.

I got totally PWNed by this movie!

I lose sleep over this sh*t, tossing and turning.

ME? Midnight Madness freak and a... a geek?

I take a little longer, looking in the mirror today, questioning my self-image.

I eat my cereal a little slower, quietly stirring the spoon in the milk.

I think about Gandalf- or more accurately, the Devil's Chair's version of Gandalf. The director (ADAM MASON) said that this guy was intentionally switched on into B movie mode; to support the rest of the film.

But he was like my favorite part of the whole film! Shows you how sophisticated my tastes are. (Geek? Noooo, aw, why Lord?)

That guy should introduce horror movies! In a wizard outfit, even. He could be the next Vincent Price.

(this should also reveal how little I know about Vincent Price, but still, I saw Edward Scissorhands... and while we're on this, you know I think they're in talks to do a re-imagining of  Ed Scissorhands (you guys watch the MM trailers right?))

NIIIIIIICK! DON'T SIT IN THE CHAAAAAAAIR!

So yeah, the movie disses Gandalf, too. As if to start a war with the LOTR fans-- (READ: if you go to see this movie, make sure to cast a a level 2 circle of protection on yourself)

It's called breaking the fourth wall. "Ferris Bueller" did it. "Razor Blade Smile" does it. "Fallen" did it hardcore.

And "The Devil's Chair" does it with vengeance.

The cleverness of this tactic-- properly used-- is that you are unable to retort without looking like an idiot (read this post, for example)

What can you really do? what can you say?

"Yeah well, so uh, movie! YEAH! Look at me when I'm talking to--"

No, sorry buddy, the movie's already gone on to the next scene. You can't catch up now. You're gonna have to wait till DVD.

Yeah! That means even though you might be upset at this movie for making fun of you, you're gonna have to line the filmmaker's pockets some more
by renting or buying it, if say, you really want to have a long, proper conversation with it.

I mean, you could complain to Mr. Mason on the blog (he's here man!) but you'd be forgetting that it's just a movie, and even though the characters may be real to you, Mr. Mason isn't truly culpable for any of those insults, no more than say Stephen King or Jack Nicholson is culpable for Jack Torrence chopping up people with his axe.

So yeah? You still want direct interaction through the one-way road of the fourth wall? It's called video games. So, if you really want to get any kind of screen vengeance, you're going to have to invest in, petition, and build interest for a video game adaptation of Devil's Chair. Again, a win-win situation for the filmmakers.

That might be your only hope, to get back any self respect. Wimps.

However, my favorite, most disturbing example of fourth wall breaking, remains the staple porno movie where the greazy (not greasy, but seriously, greazy) pizza guy winks at the camera, offering a thumbs up perhaps.

That's just plain wrong! Dude, I don't wanna know you!