It's no more than five minutes into the midnight screening of Dario Argento's new flick "The Third Mother"...

The opening credits have barely wrapped up-- and sitting next to me, is my self-professed midnight madness "Line buddy" Brandon.

Now, I've known Brandon for a few years. Got talking to him through volunteering for Rue Morgue, and last year we watched a couple Midnight Madness flicks together.

Anyhow, tonight I discovered something worse than horror. And that's the fusion of Horror with reality, in what became a very interactive evening-- if only for me.

Okay, I get it, this is hard to follow, but before we delve into recent events, I must time-travel back to the beginning of summer.

It would not have been the first time he threw up on me.

FLASH BACK:

There's a bunch of us at a wrap party at that spot upstairs from Lee's Palace. I forget the name. I notice Brandon isn't walking too straight, though he's in the best of spirits. Now, I should add, that I was kinda drunk-- so while all of this may come off somewhat blurry, there are eye witnesses to confirm any doubts you might have.

So he barfs all over my back as I was helping him into the bathroom. It was like one of those slow motion moments, when you feel the air fire by your ears. Only inside of slow mo air, it was slow mo chunks-- and I could feel my back light up in puke squibs.

He was mostly alright after that.

Back to now, tonight, events recently past.

*MILD SPOILER; AS THE FIRST DEATH SCENE IN THE MOVIE OCCURS*

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It's Coralina's big curtain scene, her top row of teeth have been obliterated by some kind of surplus size drill bit. Three psychos fight over her intestines before deciding to strangle her with them, and in the background, a monkey shrieks. Yep, it was an awesome flick.

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*END SPOILER*

...and that's when I hear (from my right):

"Ugh! I'm gonna puke!"

No way, I'm saying to myself, not again. There's no way this guy is gonna get sick!

 Let me tell you a little something more about Brandon; he does special make up FX. For indy horror films! He did some crazy gross gore on my short films (incidentally, one called "Vomitus"), and more recently the cover of Broken Pencil magazine -- full out zombies.

 Like, he's gotta know the difference between the fake stuff and the real stuff, right? Right?!

Contents of Brandon's stomach, confirmed by Brandon: "A chicken shawrma... been sitting in my bag for like an hour, dude."

So he's not looking too hot. And I'm getting flashbacks, and while this is starting to take me out of the movie, something even more compelling happens-- this eminent vomit, it COMBINES with what's going on, on screen. I believe this sort of thing is called "an emergent experience".

"I'm gonna be sick!" He's keeps saying. "I'm gonna f*ck'n puke!"

He keeps talking like this and gagging and swallowing his spit, rocking in his seat, cupping his mouth.

I mean, practically speaking, the trajectory of said puke would probably end up on the guy in front of us. Give or take a row, depending on the arc. But I figured if lightening was going to strike twice, it'd surely be coming in my direction.

FLASH BACK:

...Some three weeks earlier I was at a punk rock concert at Molson Amphitheater, and another random guy ran up to the rails of the barrier I was sitting on, and spewed over it into the water, three times. Then he was back rocking in no time.

Even now I'm not actually sure if he threw up or not. There was one point, where, in the dark, he appeared to be spitting into a paper bag. I couldn't smell anything specific, but then, there are a lot of weird smells, in the dark at Midnight Madness!

And with 80 odd minutes left in the movie, I must say my viewing experience was significantly enhanced (vomit vision in 3D?) -- and anytime there was a drop of blood, or particularly jarring sound effect, my eyes would dart between Brandon and the screen, splitting the difference. Yes! Real terror! Alas, my fate was tied to the characters of the film. Dooooomed.

Man, I know I've been mentioning Ichi the Killer in all my posts for far, but damn, Miike's team was ahead of the game when they handed out those collector Barf Bags circa 2001.